I am feeling really low and I don't know why, although I can hazard a guess or two. I took my daughter to Portsmouth flat hunting, 4 weeks ago now I think, and it set off an M.E flare which is lingering. Have given in to it for a few days and done nothing apart from walking Milo and cooking tea, but its proving to be persistent, and I have to carry on. It sucks.
October is the month my first grandchild should have been born and this weighs heavily on my mind despite trying not to dwell on it too much. I worry about my son and daughter in law and feel just as helpless now as I did when I had the devaststing news that our bump had died. He was their one and only chance with an egg donor, life is unfair.
My daughter has gone to uni, I may be suffering from empty nest syndrome, despite the fact we still have our son at home and daughter seemed to be so rarely here we classed our house as a hotel.
I also think I am lonely. I miss my Dads company despite the fact he died 4 years ago. I need to find me an old person to look after to give my life a bit of focus.
