Need a kick up the proverbial

I am slowly improving.  Does that make me sound like a lump of dough?  Oh hang on, think thats called proving.  My mistake, of which I am making a few lately!  The biggest one being getting dates wrong.  Dates that I should double check!!!  *sigh*  I had booked tickets to see Stephen Merchant at Bristol Colston Hall.  Had the date fixed in my mind, 22nd October, and had cajoled son into coming up from Plymouth to accompany me.  His friend had also asked him to go and see said comic in Plymouth but Rob said no, he was going with his Mum :o).   Anyway, Friday 21st arrived and I was about to go out, picked up the evening paper from the mat, and there on the front was a review for the gig.  Nooooo!   Surely not!!  I rushed into the kitchen and checked the tickets and sure enough, Thursday 20th.  I am soooo cross with myself.  I was really looking forward to this, plus I haven't been out with Rob alone for ages.  (I have to fight for him with Becky and Rich when he comes home.)  Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!!

Okay, back to my physical health!  I am scared.  I will admit it.  I don't feel ill like I did when the flare first arrived, but get tired so much more easily.  It doesn't take much to send me scurrying back to the settee armed with painkillers, for another nap or rest.  I think I need to try and push through it, but really don't want to end up feeling like I did 4 weeks ago.  So far I have had 3 weeks off work and I really need to get back on my feet and living "normally" again.  The fear is holding me back, which on one hand is a good thing, but on the other hand, I really don't want to stay at this point.  Hmmmm.

Dad is home from hospital, his kidneys are now the primary concern.  He is not good.  I keep trawling the internet trying to determine what stage he is at, seeing what he should and shouldn't be eating/drinking, what I should be looking out for etc.  The realisation will sink in when I let it that I can't save him.  He is old, and I have to accept it.  He is back to not eating properly, plus he has trouble swallowing the food.  I think he is only drinking because the consultants and Matthew and I keep impressing upon him how important it is.  My Dad has always been a fighter, but he is being overcome by something that has gotten hold and is stronger than his will.  It is hard to watch :o(

My sis has had her eye removed, and the scans have shown she is clear from cancer in the rest of her body.  Thankfully, a month after being diagnosed, she has been treated and is ok, needing no further treatment other than the follow up and "colouring in of her eyeball".  There have been many discussions as to whether she should have a different coloured eye fitted, a dragon picture instead of eye etc.  She has been strong and come through it all with humour and courage.

I think that is about it.  Half term has arrived, Becky typically is lying in bed watching Friends, and Rich has gone to the opening of the enormously gigantic Tesco with his friend.  It is the second biggest Tesco Extra in the country - aren't we lucky!  Not sure what it is going to do to the rest of the shopping centre, but there you go, money and a big name count for everything.  I can't be totally against it because I will go and buy clothes, books and such from it.  Books, lots of them :o)

spiders in the bathroom

I have discovered something worse than the spider yo yoing in the shower cubicle whilst I gingerly take my morning shower.  Is it the same spider, or one with a death wish?  An evil cousin, a kamakaze cousin in fact.  I washed my hands and face and picked up the towel to dry myself, and there, hanging onto the corner of the towel was a spider!  Strangely, I am averse to spreading spider all over my face and can't understand why said spider would think it was fun!  Was it going to leap off the towel at the last minute, a sort of game of chicken for the arachnid world, or did it actually want to smear itself all over a human?!!  Who knows.  What it did get was a quick flick of the towel to loosen its grip and hurl it to the ground, very unceremoniously.  Cheeky sod, whatever next?  I fear I must be very vigilant from now on in case the toilet bowl is next .......................

Well folks, I am still stuggling, and have had to take another week off work.  I am debating going to the gp, although I know he can't do anything.  I just want to feel better and I live in hope that one day I will go to see him and he will actually have that miracle cure all M.E sufferers crave.  I won't harp on about it as I am depressed enough on my own without inflicting it on my friends.

Dad.  Well, what can I say.  He is still in hospital, filling up with fluid in his abdomen almost as fast as it is drained.  His kidney function is dropping and is now of more concern than his liver.  I am worried.  Again, being rather fragile emotionally as well as physically myself, I am going to say no more.  If I start to cry I might not stop!  I will just say that I am scared.

Rob is going to give up his job, well at the time of writing this blog he is, and come back home to look for a job in the adult mental health sector here.  He will live at Dads' so at least for a while there will be someone there during the night for when/if Dad comes home.  That way Rob has no expenses so doesn't have to worry too much for a little while.  It will be nice to have him home, although I think he might get fed up of the attention his siblings will demand lol.  What it is to be adored :o)    It will be nice for me too, I miss my children.

Right, am off to switch on the fire and cuddle up on the settee.  ttfn xxx

yuk

Well this latest M.E flare is into its 7th day and as you can guess I am well and truly pee'd off with it.  Feels like a lifetime.  I have had to take time off work.  I was hoping to limp along until half term because I have booked the time off then, but I am going to have to change my plans and use this as my holiday and work half term instead.  Bollocks!!

I was trying to explain to hubby how it feels and the best I could come up with is that I can feel my blood flowing around my body and it hurts!  Sometimes its a bit like the jolt you get with an electric shock, and once again I am a hot mamma.  Nausea, sore throat, fatigue, fever and pain.  Lush!

This also means that I haven't been up to visiting Dad.  Went in last night with the children, Matthew drove us all there, for half an hour.  Timed it so that we coincided with the end of one of Dads' friends visiting so I didn't have to stay too long.  Had to go because  the last visit was last Thursday and apart from anything else, I was missing him.

Its funny, sometimes I feel the need to blog to get it all out there as it were, but when it comes to it, I just can't be arsed.  On that note, I am back off to bed.  ttfn x

Oh yes, its that feeling from The Feeling!

So, I haven't blogged for a while.  Not been well sadly.  Looking after Dad has taken its toll and M.E flare has raised its ugly head.  Crap, hate it etc etc .........

Okay, Tuesday, The Feeling gig.  Rach and I were so apathetic about going, she made the gig back in February in Bath and didn't enjoy it.  No atmosphere, not many people and of course, no me :o)   It wouldn't have taken much at all for us to pull out, neither of us feeling up for it, but we went.  Oh boy, so glad we did!  The support act was Mads Langer, and he was very good, and funny with it.  Oh, and according to Rach, cute!  The venue was packed, typically all the tall people were there before us.  I think it should be a rule that tall people get to stand at the back.  Still, tenacity and elbows got us a good view.  Quarter past nine came and we were getting a bit edgy, our feet hurt, Rach had backache, we were thirsty.  Moan, groan, old age!!!  Texted husband to moan and the reply was along the lines of old fogeys r us!

All of a sudden electricity filled the air and the band were on stage.  Crowd goes wild and both Rach and I had stupid grins on our faces.  Oh yes, that feeling was well and truly back!    Feet hurting?  Nah.  Backache?  What backache?  Thirsty?  Oh you ain't seen nothing yet, wait until you have been singing and yelling for an hour and a half!!  We have been to see The Feeling four times, but this time they surpassed themselves.  They seem to have turned the instrumental bits of the songs into rock explosions.  It was bloody fantastic.  They finally left the stage at just gone 11pm, and the whole place was buzzing.  Sorry to be so cliche but its true.

Rach and I debated whether to do our "groupie thing" and hang around by the tour bus, but sadly old age struck and we decided to go home.  Of course, our feet ached, backs hurt, hands hurt from clapping, we could hardly talk or hear for that matter, but we were happy :o)