As I am in the midst of a flare I thought I would try and describe how I am feeling.
Hot, my blood feels like it is on fire, giving me that inner glow. My hands seem to feel it most, so painful and hot. I also have sausage fingers which are very stiff. My joints are almost unbearably painful, even sleep doesn't give me relief. I am aware that I am crying out in pain as I move, or don't move. As I lie in bed my joints, especially my back, hips, knees and ankles hurt more. I cannot get comfortable, even putting pillows under my knees and against my back for support. I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, so I sleep, wake up due to a raging thirst and then sleep again. When I am awake I feel nauseous and have a headache, along with all the aches and pains. There feels like barbed wire around my heart area, like a bad stitch feeling. Luckily I don't stay away too long which deals with the nausea but not the pain as I said earlier.
All I can do is take pain killers, drink lots of water and sleep. I know it will ease and over the course of a couple of weeks I will be back to my normal state of health. Thankfully I don't get a full blown flare very often, it seems to have settled to about twice a year, and for that I am thankful, although not whilst suffering it!
Saturday 29 June 2013
Wednesday 26 June 2013
Up
I am happy to report that I gave myself a mental kick up the arse and got on better at work today. I did find it hard to concentrate during a crown prep, but that is a 40 min appt, and although I lost focus I did remain with it enough to keep up. I felt happier and relaxed a bit, not feeling a failure is good for the ego! Thats it for work for this week now. Just housework to do, yayyy. Have finished knitting the minions now too so I can knit something I want to knit. Think it might be a guinea pig, got some speckly wool I want to try out.
That it, too tired to type more, plus nothing has happened apart from dropping daughters prom dress off to be shortened. The seamstress thinks it will be ready Friday, which is good. It can be hung up out of the way then in readiness.
Right, I am going to sit and read for quarter of an hour and then start getting tea ready. Toodles!
That it, too tired to type more, plus nothing has happened apart from dropping daughters prom dress off to be shortened. The seamstress thinks it will be ready Friday, which is good. It can be hung up out of the way then in readiness.
Right, I am going to sit and read for quarter of an hour and then start getting tea ready. Toodles!
Tuesday 25 June 2013
Losing the plot
I am losing focus badly at work. It has been noticeable over the past month or so, I am not as quick as I used to be and seem to have lost the knack of pre-empting what the dentist needs. I find it hard to concentrate too, and I am finding this at home, my thoughts are going around in my head at a hundred miles an hour. I had a chat with the dentist about it and he has noticed, well, hard not to to be honest. He feels it would be better to just book check ups in and short treatments on the days I work. Thats no good is it? Why should he have to work like that just because his nurse is losing the plot?! To watch me sometimes you would think I have just started in the job, not been doing it since 1979. I don't know what is happening to me. Maybe I need a break, short term or permanently. I don't know what I could do though if I left. Working the 8 hours is too much on occasions. I can't stand up for any length of time, I drop things regularly, can't concentrate, and am continually tired. Not much hope is there. I was really upset when James chatted to me earlier, I guess I was trying to kid myself it isn't happening. Oh bollocks!
Monday 24 June 2013
insignificant
I wish I could be listened to. That is all on that subject.
Been knitting Minions like crazy. The new Despicable Me film is out and I thought little Minions would go down well. I was right. Its weird, I love browsing patterns and thinking "I would like to knit that". When it comes to Having to knit for people, its not so much fun! I need to start Christmas stock for the fair in November. Keep thinking I have plenty of time, but as we know, time goes so fast it will be here before we know it. Thinking about some Halloween mice too .........
At last we have shoes sorted for younger daughters prom. Taking the dress to be taken up this Wednesday, and the prom is next week. Talking of daughters, my eldest daughter gained a 2:1 in her physics degree. Yayyy, that means she gets her job which also means she can afford the flat she has just taken on. Glad its working for her. Just wish my son could get his dream job. Actually, there are lots of things I could wish for, same for everyone I guess. Its a dangerous path and one I won't travel down.
Gosh, not much going on really, Went to the music festival on Saturday, it wasn't as good as in previous years, but the weather held which made a change. Got a stupid patch of sunburn so now look like I have a bum on my chest. *sigh* Never mind, its back to warm clothes today so it won't show.
Have just spent an hour ironing, and still have 4 shirts and a tshirt left to do. That will teach me to be lazy and leave it for so long. Got to put it all away too for my sins. Hate housewifely jobs. I am lazy, I admit it and do the minimum. The ME doesn't help, but can't use that as an excuse really. Anyway, daughter wants to make brownies, which I don't mind doing. I quite enjoy baking, but not cooking, if you see what I mean. I would love a cook to come in each night and prepare the meals. I have no inspiration as to what to cook each night, despite perusing cook books. Everyone likes different things too so I try and accommodate them all. I keep meaning to make puddings too, but never quite get around to it. Pitiful!
Talking of food, it is lunchtime, so off to have a nice salad wrap. Mmmm. Diets not going too well either!
Been knitting Minions like crazy. The new Despicable Me film is out and I thought little Minions would go down well. I was right. Its weird, I love browsing patterns and thinking "I would like to knit that". When it comes to Having to knit for people, its not so much fun! I need to start Christmas stock for the fair in November. Keep thinking I have plenty of time, but as we know, time goes so fast it will be here before we know it. Thinking about some Halloween mice too .........
At last we have shoes sorted for younger daughters prom. Taking the dress to be taken up this Wednesday, and the prom is next week. Talking of daughters, my eldest daughter gained a 2:1 in her physics degree. Yayyy, that means she gets her job which also means she can afford the flat she has just taken on. Glad its working for her. Just wish my son could get his dream job. Actually, there are lots of things I could wish for, same for everyone I guess. Its a dangerous path and one I won't travel down.
Gosh, not much going on really, Went to the music festival on Saturday, it wasn't as good as in previous years, but the weather held which made a change. Got a stupid patch of sunburn so now look like I have a bum on my chest. *sigh* Never mind, its back to warm clothes today so it won't show.
Have just spent an hour ironing, and still have 4 shirts and a tshirt left to do. That will teach me to be lazy and leave it for so long. Got to put it all away too for my sins. Hate housewifely jobs. I am lazy, I admit it and do the minimum. The ME doesn't help, but can't use that as an excuse really. Anyway, daughter wants to make brownies, which I don't mind doing. I quite enjoy baking, but not cooking, if you see what I mean. I would love a cook to come in each night and prepare the meals. I have no inspiration as to what to cook each night, despite perusing cook books. Everyone likes different things too so I try and accommodate them all. I keep meaning to make puddings too, but never quite get around to it. Pitiful!
Talking of food, it is lunchtime, so off to have a nice salad wrap. Mmmm. Diets not going too well either!
Friday 14 June 2013
Birds,fish and polar bears!
Well, didn't sleep well last night. In fact I am going through a not sleeping too well period. Had a dream about Mum and Dad, we had gone to a wine exhibition of all things, and I was looking at a very intricately pattened bottle when they walked off and left me. This continued, so in the end I sat down and had a meal on my own. I spotted them by the lifts so hurried over, only for them to turn away and get into the lift from a different side of the room. This made me really mad and I rushed in before the doors closed and started shouting and swearing at them, demanding to know why they were avoiding me. They denied they were, but said it was time I was on my own. I was so sad when I woke up and remembered, and it brought tears to my eyes. Maybe they were trying to tell me that I have to let them go and not talk to them all the time and wish they were still here. I don't know, but I do feel there was a message there.
Park news. I took Specks there yesterday and remembered the bread! I stopped at a sheltered bit where there are a lot of trees to feed the moorhen and saw an enormous carp. I have never seen a carp in the pond before, though thinking about it now I recall circles and ripples in the pond. I am not joking about the size, it must have been 2 ft long at least. It swam under the moorhen and nearly gave it a heart attack. Poor thing took off onto a low branch squawking away. That was the first thing to happen. The next really made my day. I rounded the corner to the top end of the pond where all the ducks were sat sunning themselves. Notquite sure why I said sunning because it was blowing a hooligan and raining! Anyway, the duckies saw me coming and assumed I had food and all came hurtling over the grass demanding breakfast. It was brilliant, and I know it might sound sad, but this sort of thing gives me loads of pleasure. Just wish I had taken more food. I usually take corn but gave my last lot to a little boy and his Dad when I realised I was hogging the duck feeding, and his bread was being ignored. I also saw another woodpecker! Not in the park this time, but by the school. Couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it, just hopping around on the path. It was ok for a few seconds, but then flew away as Specks came into sight. Amazing. I feel I have had a good year so far with spotting birds I haven't seen before. Saw the kestrel a few weeks ago too, and I haven't seen that since the beginning of the year. Again, that was the first time I have seen one in this area, although I am sure they must be around somewhere. We have a few buzzards each year, but not seen the smaller hawks.
I am in the process of knitting a polar bear. Tried using my fluffy wool to make christmas angel mice but it didn't work so need to adapt the pattern a bit. Will do some more though. Got some suitable wool to knit another dachshund, and also some guinea pigs.
Prom dress fitting went fine. Daughter looks beautiful, I hope she stays so slim throughout her life, unlike her mother! Shoes still prove to be a problem, but we are getting nearer to a solution. Have to, the prom is in 3 weeks, and the hem of the dress will need to be altered before then!
Okay, think that is it. Feeling fuzzy still, despite having a nap. Need to think up something for tea too. I am so not housewife material!
Park news. I took Specks there yesterday and remembered the bread! I stopped at a sheltered bit where there are a lot of trees to feed the moorhen and saw an enormous carp. I have never seen a carp in the pond before, though thinking about it now I recall circles and ripples in the pond. I am not joking about the size, it must have been 2 ft long at least. It swam under the moorhen and nearly gave it a heart attack. Poor thing took off onto a low branch squawking away. That was the first thing to happen. The next really made my day. I rounded the corner to the top end of the pond where all the ducks were sat sunning themselves. Notquite sure why I said sunning because it was blowing a hooligan and raining! Anyway, the duckies saw me coming and assumed I had food and all came hurtling over the grass demanding breakfast. It was brilliant, and I know it might sound sad, but this sort of thing gives me loads of pleasure. Just wish I had taken more food. I usually take corn but gave my last lot to a little boy and his Dad when I realised I was hogging the duck feeding, and his bread was being ignored. I also saw another woodpecker! Not in the park this time, but by the school. Couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it, just hopping around on the path. It was ok for a few seconds, but then flew away as Specks came into sight. Amazing. I feel I have had a good year so far with spotting birds I haven't seen before. Saw the kestrel a few weeks ago too, and I haven't seen that since the beginning of the year. Again, that was the first time I have seen one in this area, although I am sure they must be around somewhere. We have a few buzzards each year, but not seen the smaller hawks.
I am in the process of knitting a polar bear. Tried using my fluffy wool to make christmas angel mice but it didn't work so need to adapt the pattern a bit. Will do some more though. Got some suitable wool to knit another dachshund, and also some guinea pigs.
Prom dress fitting went fine. Daughter looks beautiful, I hope she stays so slim throughout her life, unlike her mother! Shoes still prove to be a problem, but we are getting nearer to a solution. Have to, the prom is in 3 weeks, and the hem of the dress will need to be altered before then!
Okay, think that is it. Feeling fuzzy still, despite having a nap. Need to think up something for tea too. I am so not housewife material!
Friday 7 June 2013
Friday 7th June already!
Well, its been over a week. Doesn't time fly? Just shows what an exciting life I lead. Am going through a bit of a "not happy at work" phase for some reason. I have a feeling its because the holiday season is coming up and the "filling in" (no pun intended, but perfect for the dental world!) rota is up on the board. I am already stressed because I have been asked to work all day on a couple of Mondays. Not a problem for most people, but for me its a real biggie, and when I said I can't work a full day it didn't go down well. It doesn't make any difference if I have the following two mornings off, it is still too much. I know how hard it is to understand, I really do, but I wouldn't say I can't do it for the fun of it. It doesn't make me feel very good, and I am fed up of that old feeling useless feeling. Lots of feelings going on here! I can't put into words how inadequate I feel not being able to do things that I used to take for granted. Eerk, must stop saying feeling!!
Onwards. Lets see, what have I been up to? Well, there is one thing that is bothering me alot. The ducks are back on the pond, which I love, but I am very disturbed to report that there are no ducklings this year. I really don't know why. Last year the ducklings were mostly drakes, in fact, I would say they were all drakes. There are about 6 or 7 females and at least twice as many males. Why no ducklings? There is a new pair of swans on the pond this year who have 6 cygnets. The previous pair were taken away to a swan rescue centre as they were being harried by the young male. I know swans will kill the ducklings, but surely not all of them? And, as I say, normally there are nearly 20 ducklings each year, but this year nothing. I will have to do a bit of research I think. I get a lot of pleasure from the duckies!
Finished the otter doorstop I was knitting, can't remember if I said. I am glad cos I don't like knitting with fluffy wool. Bearing that in mind, ebay did its usual trick of seducing me and I have ended up buying two more lots of the stuff. For heavens sake, what am I like. Definately no willpower! Need to find something suitable to knit now. Have done the dachshund that was requested, but he is smaller than I would like. Going to try and get some thicker wool and knit another one with bigger needles and see how that one turns out.
Just watched another rubbish film from lovefilm. I am useless at picking films it seems. Books are fine, but films just seem to escape me. This last one, Blue Valentine, didn't even make it to the end of the disc, both daughter and I giving up on it. I am better when I stick to the childrens films, long live Enchanted!
Daughter no 2's prom dress has arrived. Yayy, hope this will give her the incentive to finally choose a pair of shoes as she needs them for the fitting. Her Dad is taking her shopping tomorrow as I have had no luck with her. They will both enjoy the outing no doubt and will hopefull come home triumphant. Mind you, I am having trouble finding something suitable to wear to Daughter no.1's graduation, so maybe its a bit of the pot calling the kettle black!
Right, washing to fold. Had it out on the line and the rain made an appearance. ttfn
Onwards. Lets see, what have I been up to? Well, there is one thing that is bothering me alot. The ducks are back on the pond, which I love, but I am very disturbed to report that there are no ducklings this year. I really don't know why. Last year the ducklings were mostly drakes, in fact, I would say they were all drakes. There are about 6 or 7 females and at least twice as many males. Why no ducklings? There is a new pair of swans on the pond this year who have 6 cygnets. The previous pair were taken away to a swan rescue centre as they were being harried by the young male. I know swans will kill the ducklings, but surely not all of them? And, as I say, normally there are nearly 20 ducklings each year, but this year nothing. I will have to do a bit of research I think. I get a lot of pleasure from the duckies!
Finished the otter doorstop I was knitting, can't remember if I said. I am glad cos I don't like knitting with fluffy wool. Bearing that in mind, ebay did its usual trick of seducing me and I have ended up buying two more lots of the stuff. For heavens sake, what am I like. Definately no willpower! Need to find something suitable to knit now. Have done the dachshund that was requested, but he is smaller than I would like. Going to try and get some thicker wool and knit another one with bigger needles and see how that one turns out.
Just watched another rubbish film from lovefilm. I am useless at picking films it seems. Books are fine, but films just seem to escape me. This last one, Blue Valentine, didn't even make it to the end of the disc, both daughter and I giving up on it. I am better when I stick to the childrens films, long live Enchanted!
Daughter no 2's prom dress has arrived. Yayy, hope this will give her the incentive to finally choose a pair of shoes as she needs them for the fitting. Her Dad is taking her shopping tomorrow as I have had no luck with her. They will both enjoy the outing no doubt and will hopefull come home triumphant. Mind you, I am having trouble finding something suitable to wear to Daughter no.1's graduation, so maybe its a bit of the pot calling the kettle black!
Right, washing to fold. Had it out on the line and the rain made an appearance. ttfn
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