How do women who wear glasses manage to pluck their eyebrows? Don't want to be discriminatory here, so how do men who wear glasses pluck their eyebrows too? A long time ago, in a galaxy far away and a time before elder daughter left for uni never to return, she used to do it for me. I lived in fear of looking in the mirror afterwards and finding they had disappeared, or turned into zigzag patterns. Maybe a crop circle or two magically appeared in place of eyebrows. To be fair, she did stick to my instructions of only plucking the stray ones under the brows, and I took a Bic (razor, not pen) down the gap between each eyebrow to complete the job.
That was pre the year 2000 and slowly, bit by bit I am looking more cavewoman than couture. My younger daughter never took the mantle over, but likes to point out that my eyebrows need "doing". No, she likes to gasp in horror as she spots the occasional grey hair, demanding that she pull it out. After pulling a handful of brown hairs she declares she can't get it, leaving a nice bald patch with one solitary grey hair stuck up in the middle of it.
After yet another mention of the brows I thought I would take matters into my own hands and try the job myself. I got up close to the mirror, and almost gasped in horror myself! To my half bespectacled eye it looks like my right eyebrow has decided to be a side burn instead and try and join my hairline. For heavens sake! Is this what happens to women when they reach a certain age? I know of beards and moustaches, and await mine with a certain amount of glee, but sideburns too? Maybe that is just the start of it and in actual fact sightings of bigfoot are actually post menopausal women hiding out in the wood because they have developed all over fuzz.
I daren't look at the left one. When I feel braver, and have bought a new bag of nice sharp bics I will shave my face to within an inch of its life. Till then I will leave my head hair to hang forward and everything can blend in together.
Wednesday 27 July 2016
Monday 25 July 2016
Boo
I was sitting in the lounge, minding my own business but looking out of the window, when I noticed 2 boys, around 12years old sneaking around. Loitering they were. The window was open and I heard one say "that one, there's a car on the drive" He was pointing at my house but hanging back by a car. I then watched as his friend (cheeky young whippersnapper) walked over the lawn and disappear from sight. Then there came a knock on the front door, so I duly got up to answer it. No-one there. I went onto the porch but couldn't see anyone. Little so and so!
I was just about to shut the door when I heard the 1st boy say "she's gone back in, do it again". Shame they didn't know me. I just pushed the door to and waited, ninja like. Sure enough, through the glass I watched a hand reach for the bell. With a magnificent flourish I flung open the door and emitted a rather loud and wonderful "raaaaaarrrrrrrr". The little chap nearly wet himself, emitted a loud "fu**" and ran. I collapsed in the hall in a fit of hysterical giggles. Best day for a long time :0)
I was just about to shut the door when I heard the 1st boy say "she's gone back in, do it again". Shame they didn't know me. I just pushed the door to and waited, ninja like. Sure enough, through the glass I watched a hand reach for the bell. With a magnificent flourish I flung open the door and emitted a rather loud and wonderful "raaaaaarrrrrrrr". The little chap nearly wet himself, emitted a loud "fu**" and ran. I collapsed in the hall in a fit of hysterical giggles. Best day for a long time :0)
Day 1 as happy, smiley, stressed receptionist!
Well, it was my first day as receptionist today, ending lots and lots of years as a dental nurse. I did start to work it out but got scared and quickly stopped!
It was fine up until about 9.15, we start at 8.45, and I was already getting complacent about it being a doddle compared to the surgery. I luxuriated in fiddling with my pen and pencil and thought about an early cuppa....... Then the phone rang, patient in need, on went the helpful receptionists hat, out comes the day book and first crisis averted. Down goes the telephone only to ring straight away. Out comes a patient from surgery 1, closely followed by patient from surgery 2. Ok, there are two of us and the other receptionist has been there years. I answer the phone whilst she dispatches the patients. Lady's son came in last week and made an appt for January but can't remember when, but can she book in at the same time? Well, the thing is, we are not computerised so have to trawl through the appointment books to try and find these appointments. Couldn't find one in January under her sons name - oh, maybe it was December. Not prepared to do it all again I just made new appointments. Put the phone down, patients are arriving for appointments, phone is ringing, again, and more patients appear from the surgeries.
Stàrt panicking, no free spaces for emergencies, people are going to have to wait a few days. Have to think of Shania Twain and rearrange a few lyrics - so you have a loose crown? That don't impress me much, do do dodo (hum along now).
By the time 1pm arrives I have filled in about 6 forms, entered 20 in the book, answered umpteen phone calls and only managed 2 cups of tea. The other receptionist on the other hand, has dealt with numerous patients, got the cards out for the afternoon sessions, filled in umpteen forms, done the banking, got cards out for next week, phoned the water board as we have a fountain in the carpark that shouldn't be there and put a delivery of stock away. Slacker!
It was fine up until about 9.15, we start at 8.45, and I was already getting complacent about it being a doddle compared to the surgery. I luxuriated in fiddling with my pen and pencil and thought about an early cuppa....... Then the phone rang, patient in need, on went the helpful receptionists hat, out comes the day book and first crisis averted. Down goes the telephone only to ring straight away. Out comes a patient from surgery 1, closely followed by patient from surgery 2. Ok, there are two of us and the other receptionist has been there years. I answer the phone whilst she dispatches the patients. Lady's son came in last week and made an appt for January but can't remember when, but can she book in at the same time? Well, the thing is, we are not computerised so have to trawl through the appointment books to try and find these appointments. Couldn't find one in January under her sons name - oh, maybe it was December. Not prepared to do it all again I just made new appointments. Put the phone down, patients are arriving for appointments, phone is ringing, again, and more patients appear from the surgeries.
Stàrt panicking, no free spaces for emergencies, people are going to have to wait a few days. Have to think of Shania Twain and rearrange a few lyrics - so you have a loose crown? That don't impress me much, do do dodo (hum along now).
By the time 1pm arrives I have filled in about 6 forms, entered 20 in the book, answered umpteen phone calls and only managed 2 cups of tea. The other receptionist on the other hand, has dealt with numerous patients, got the cards out for the afternoon sessions, filled in umpteen forms, done the banking, got cards out for next week, phoned the water board as we have a fountain in the carpark that shouldn't be there and put a delivery of stock away. Slacker!
Saturday 23 July 2016
Ello ello
I phoned my daughter today and left a 4 minute voice call. Nothing unusual in that statement you might think, except I didn't. I was on the common walking my dog and the only thing I can think of is when I bent down to pick up some hay for my guinea pigs the phone fairies called her. They have done it before. Its not unusual for me to hear someone calling hello from my phone without me having touched it. At least the fairies stick to the people in my address book! The only other explanation I can come up with is that my backside did it, and thats just weirder than phone fairies!
Friday 22 July 2016
Iron me flat!
My husband asked what my plans were for this afternoon. I mentioned that I needed to do some ironing, and his reply was "Is it me, or do the number of times you say you are going to do the ironing not match up to the times you actually do the ironing?"
He has a point. Some things need building up to, and ironing is one of them. I think if I keep saying it I reach a point where I realise that I will have to get on with it. Its a bit like dieting, you can't tell everyone you are going to go on a diet and not, its just not done. Best to keep quiet about some things!
I did feel ashamed though when husband needed his shirt to wear to a funeral. He has only worn it once, and that was to my eldest sons wedding - 2 years ago! It has been sitting at the bottom of the pile for all that time, repeatedly overlooked because its a "posh" shirt and not needed. Bit like my thoughts of dieting, although sadly that is needed.
Man, I wish people would leave us more generously fleshed people alone. I don't enjoy eating salads and endless amounts of chicken all the time. Too much veg gives me wind and sitting in public with a hurricane whirling around your insides is embarrassing, especially if a rogue breeze escapes. If I am hungry I want to eat, not have a pint of water. Hungry not thirsty peeps.
Something overcomes me when I diet. Think its called rebellion! I suddenly get the urge to eat things I never would have batted an eyelid at before. Things like cakes and biscuits, and crisps become very appealing and I absolutely MUST have them. Normally my downfall, if you want to call it that, is chocolate. Cannot be beaten, unless abroad when it becomes very avoidable due to the difference in taste. I turn into a derranged cookie monster on speed, and could eat the size of Scotland in shortbread.
Husband has just popped his head round the corner and said "ironings going well then". Darn, I think the time has finally come.........
He has a point. Some things need building up to, and ironing is one of them. I think if I keep saying it I reach a point where I realise that I will have to get on with it. Its a bit like dieting, you can't tell everyone you are going to go on a diet and not, its just not done. Best to keep quiet about some things!
I did feel ashamed though when husband needed his shirt to wear to a funeral. He has only worn it once, and that was to my eldest sons wedding - 2 years ago! It has been sitting at the bottom of the pile for all that time, repeatedly overlooked because its a "posh" shirt and not needed. Bit like my thoughts of dieting, although sadly that is needed.
Man, I wish people would leave us more generously fleshed people alone. I don't enjoy eating salads and endless amounts of chicken all the time. Too much veg gives me wind and sitting in public with a hurricane whirling around your insides is embarrassing, especially if a rogue breeze escapes. If I am hungry I want to eat, not have a pint of water. Hungry not thirsty peeps.
Something overcomes me when I diet. Think its called rebellion! I suddenly get the urge to eat things I never would have batted an eyelid at before. Things like cakes and biscuits, and crisps become very appealing and I absolutely MUST have them. Normally my downfall, if you want to call it that, is chocolate. Cannot be beaten, unless abroad when it becomes very avoidable due to the difference in taste. I turn into a derranged cookie monster on speed, and could eat the size of Scotland in shortbread.
Husband has just popped his head round the corner and said "ironings going well then". Darn, I think the time has finally come.........
Thursday 21 July 2016
Rescue dog, rescue me.
A year ago in May we had to make the devastating decision to have our precious dog put to sleep. He had liver cancer and the decision was an obvious one, but difficult nonetheless. He was my soul dog and constant companion and I loved him to bits.
I missed him so much, still do, and hated coming in to an empty house. So, we got a kitten, a beautiful little tabby kitten we called Freya. I am a dog person! I love Freya, but still felt the enormous hole left by Specks, so the hunt for another dog began!
I was getting desperate, all the dogs I liked, no-one else did, and vice-versa. I love the Spanish hunting dogs, Podencos, but was on my own there. Something made me look at shelters abroad and there we finally managed to agree on a dog. The decision was made, home check was passed and the plans were in place.
On 21st July, 2015, Milo arrived in the UK from Greece, and we duly picked him up and brought him home. Little did we know what we had let ourselves in for. If we had known we definately would have not made the decision to take him on.
Milo was left at the shelter when he was around 5 weeks old and when we picked him up he was about 9 months old. We had thought about him never having lived in a house and therefore wouldnt be used to the various noises of every day life, but that was as far as it went. What we hadn't considered was the fact that for the past 9 months he had lived in a small enclosure, with nothing to do and weeing and pooing whenever he needed. Yup, you guessed it, old habits die hard! This little 12kg scrap of skin and bone really didnt want to have to go outside to do his business, why should he? To add insult to injury, when he was stressed he would cock his leg on anything and everything.
He also tried to eat Freya at every opportunity, and the only solution we had was to shut her upstairs and keep the devil dog downstairs. Happily she got bigger and learned to stand up for herself and they are fine together now.
Milo took about 4 months to learn toilet training and around the same time stopped his endless pacing. This dog didnt know how to play or how to relax. He went through an endless amount of cardboard boxes to keep him occupied, cos they seemed to keep him happy. The floor was a continual explosion of cardboard. Another thing that he did was take everything, and I mean everything, nothing was safe! Paper, pens, cds, dvds, ornaments, shoes, clothing, cushions, wires. You name it, the bloody dog had it! Its like having a toddler all over again, except toddlers don't usually leap at the kitchen worktops and try and slurp off everything their anteater tongue can reach. He still does it a year on and nothing we have done has rid him of this annoying habit. He even has the washing off the line!
He is useless on a lead, but will give you his paw, wait for his treats and is very loving. The thing that makes it all worth the agro, the tears, the frustration is the fact that this dog is exuberant, he loves life. As soon as we reach the common and I let him off his lead he is off, running and running, playing with other dogs, leaping around in the water.
Before I started writing this, I wanted to go into more detail of our journey, but once I started it was just all too much. So many different problems with him. There were countless occasions when we wanted to give up on him, and it did take a long time to fall in love with him. I used to liken him to an autistic child who didn't understand English.
Bit by bit he has wormed himself into our hearts and now, despite the fact we still have issues, he is here to stay. We have spent a fortune on dog whisperers to try and help us but ultimately realised it was down to us. We have muddled through and all of us have come a long way. We have a beautiful lurcher collie cross who has doubled his weight but still looks skinny, who loves us and protects us. He will be 2 in October and has calmed down and is 100 times better behaved than he was. If you think of taking on a rescue dog from abroad think hard. Having chatted to other people who rescued dogs from greece (via The Strays of Greece) I do think that Milo has been particularly difficult. Chat to as many people as you can about it bevore making the decision. On the other hand, there are also hundreds and hundreds of success stories.
I missed him so much, still do, and hated coming in to an empty house. So, we got a kitten, a beautiful little tabby kitten we called Freya. I am a dog person! I love Freya, but still felt the enormous hole left by Specks, so the hunt for another dog began!
I was getting desperate, all the dogs I liked, no-one else did, and vice-versa. I love the Spanish hunting dogs, Podencos, but was on my own there. Something made me look at shelters abroad and there we finally managed to agree on a dog. The decision was made, home check was passed and the plans were in place.
On 21st July, 2015, Milo arrived in the UK from Greece, and we duly picked him up and brought him home. Little did we know what we had let ourselves in for. If we had known we definately would have not made the decision to take him on.
Milo was left at the shelter when he was around 5 weeks old and when we picked him up he was about 9 months old. We had thought about him never having lived in a house and therefore wouldnt be used to the various noises of every day life, but that was as far as it went. What we hadn't considered was the fact that for the past 9 months he had lived in a small enclosure, with nothing to do and weeing and pooing whenever he needed. Yup, you guessed it, old habits die hard! This little 12kg scrap of skin and bone really didnt want to have to go outside to do his business, why should he? To add insult to injury, when he was stressed he would cock his leg on anything and everything.
He also tried to eat Freya at every opportunity, and the only solution we had was to shut her upstairs and keep the devil dog downstairs. Happily she got bigger and learned to stand up for herself and they are fine together now.
Milo took about 4 months to learn toilet training and around the same time stopped his endless pacing. This dog didnt know how to play or how to relax. He went through an endless amount of cardboard boxes to keep him occupied, cos they seemed to keep him happy. The floor was a continual explosion of cardboard. Another thing that he did was take everything, and I mean everything, nothing was safe! Paper, pens, cds, dvds, ornaments, shoes, clothing, cushions, wires. You name it, the bloody dog had it! Its like having a toddler all over again, except toddlers don't usually leap at the kitchen worktops and try and slurp off everything their anteater tongue can reach. He still does it a year on and nothing we have done has rid him of this annoying habit. He even has the washing off the line!
He is useless on a lead, but will give you his paw, wait for his treats and is very loving. The thing that makes it all worth the agro, the tears, the frustration is the fact that this dog is exuberant, he loves life. As soon as we reach the common and I let him off his lead he is off, running and running, playing with other dogs, leaping around in the water.
Before I started writing this, I wanted to go into more detail of our journey, but once I started it was just all too much. So many different problems with him. There were countless occasions when we wanted to give up on him, and it did take a long time to fall in love with him. I used to liken him to an autistic child who didn't understand English.
Bit by bit he has wormed himself into our hearts and now, despite the fact we still have issues, he is here to stay. We have spent a fortune on dog whisperers to try and help us but ultimately realised it was down to us. We have muddled through and all of us have come a long way. We have a beautiful lurcher collie cross who has doubled his weight but still looks skinny, who loves us and protects us. He will be 2 in October and has calmed down and is 100 times better behaved than he was. If you think of taking on a rescue dog from abroad think hard. Having chatted to other people who rescued dogs from greece (via The Strays of Greece) I do think that Milo has been particularly difficult. Chat to as many people as you can about it bevore making the decision. On the other hand, there are also hundreds and hundreds of success stories.
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