Well Dad came out of hospital last night, very frail, very weak and with a diagnosis of liver cancer. He finally had a drain put in on Tuesday which relieved him of 8 LITRES of fluid. I am so cross they left him so long. Bloody consultants. Bloody watch and wait policies.
I am more upset now he his home and I can see how far downhill he has gone. The fear of him dying has kicked in more now. Its like he has given up and everything is too much effort. I just hope that time will work magic and bring him more to the Father I know he is. He still has the drain in place but the hospital don't want to see him for 4 months. Get this - he is supposed to empty the bag himself and take the drain out when he feels there is no more fluid leaking out. Don't think so! Not even the suggestion of a visit either to or from a district nurse to take the drain out and ensure the wound is ok. FFS. Am I cross? Just a wee bit!! I will be on the phone to the gp to try and sort something out, lets hope the after care is as good as the care he got before he was admitted.
Well thats my update. I need to go and do some shopping and then get back to Dads.
Thursday 25 August 2011
Monday 22 August 2011
Day 11 and still no further forward
This morning I felt good. We have finally got the walls painted in the lounge and I love the colour, that made me happy. Woke up in a good mood, and actually managed to get going with odd jobs. Remembered at the last minute I had promised Caroline I would take Noodles out, so packed Specks into the car and went to pick up the demon dog.
I drove them both to the end of the common by the railway station, not gone in that way before. We had a lovely walk, the sun was out, sky was blue, a buzzard was circling - maybe to grab ratdog? lol. That dog has so much energy its unbelievable. We were out for an hour, and he was still pestering Specks to play when I dropped him back home. My poor dog was on his last legs, black and brown not being good colours for blazing sun! I was feeling really relaxed for a change, but sadly it didn't last as long as I would have liked.
Visiting time again. I drove around for 20 minutes trying to find a parking space, and in the end just parked on the side of the road. My poor car was near to overheating and I just didn't want to keep going. Got to the ward at nearly 3 o'clock, frazzled and pi**ed off. Dad is very tired. He says he feels like he is just being dragged down and down. Still no flaming scan results and guess what? Still no fluid drained. The consultant told him he needs a liver biopsy done and they may drain the fluid tomorrow. They better had because its not only Dad who is fed up of all this dilly dallying. It is not fair on him. They weigh him every day and can see he is not losing any weight despite being pumped full of diuretics. Feeling uptight now, grrrrr.
My Will Young CD arrived in the post today, a signed copy no less. Hmm, he has changed style too. Think it will need a bit of getting used to - good excuse to play it non stop lol.
And its back to work tomorrow. Feel like I have been home forever! Still its a good start, James in the surgery, and if he has kept his word, shortbread to munch on from his holiday in Scotland. Yayyyy. Only downside is that I am working Wednesday afternoon too, I really struggle doing afternoons. Ah well, if I fall asleep no doubt somone will wake me up!
I drove them both to the end of the common by the railway station, not gone in that way before. We had a lovely walk, the sun was out, sky was blue, a buzzard was circling - maybe to grab ratdog? lol. That dog has so much energy its unbelievable. We were out for an hour, and he was still pestering Specks to play when I dropped him back home. My poor dog was on his last legs, black and brown not being good colours for blazing sun! I was feeling really relaxed for a change, but sadly it didn't last as long as I would have liked.
Visiting time again. I drove around for 20 minutes trying to find a parking space, and in the end just parked on the side of the road. My poor car was near to overheating and I just didn't want to keep going. Got to the ward at nearly 3 o'clock, frazzled and pi**ed off. Dad is very tired. He says he feels like he is just being dragged down and down. Still no flaming scan results and guess what? Still no fluid drained. The consultant told him he needs a liver biopsy done and they may drain the fluid tomorrow. They better had because its not only Dad who is fed up of all this dilly dallying. It is not fair on him. They weigh him every day and can see he is not losing any weight despite being pumped full of diuretics. Feeling uptight now, grrrrr.
My Will Young CD arrived in the post today, a signed copy no less. Hmm, he has changed style too. Think it will need a bit of getting used to - good excuse to play it non stop lol.
And its back to work tomorrow. Feel like I have been home forever! Still its a good start, James in the surgery, and if he has kept his word, shortbread to munch on from his holiday in Scotland. Yayyyy. Only downside is that I am working Wednesday afternoon too, I really struggle doing afternoons. Ah well, if I fall asleep no doubt somone will wake me up!
Saturday 20 August 2011
saturday ...
I had an afternoon off from visiting Dad yesterday and went in the evening instead. Had a lovely day, a normal day! Took Rich to the barber, successful hair cut for a change, pottered around, took the children to Oldbury Court along with the dog and skateboard. I will interject here that obviously the dog cannot use a skateboard, but Rich can! Came home, watched Scott Pilgrim vs the world. Weird film, but amusing. Made tea and then off to the hospital.
The preliminary results show that there is scarring and a small blockage in Dads liver. Thats it so far! The more time is going on, the more I am beginning to think there is nothing drastic wrong with him. Yes, he has ascites, the fluid in his abdomen, which is obviously very uncomfortable, but the cause is eluding the medical team. I trawl the internet each time I get a new bit of non information from them and make my own assessment. Maybe its something to do with his pancreas and diabetes. He is having more tests next week and maybe home Wednesday. I have to say that last night he was the most relaxed I have seen him. He had a hypo after his CT scan in the morning, and was "out of it". He said he could hear people speaking to him but in no way could he respond. It is the worst one he has had, but then as he said, when he is at home he always has a glucose gel on him to take, at hospital they take all your medication from you!
Matthew is going to visit this afternoon with Rich, so I am having another "free" day. Yayyy, Tesco here I come! As usual I have an ironing mountain which needs wading through, and housework to avoid. My duckies are neglected, only one visit last week, so that will be on the list too. The M.E weariness has well and truly kicked in and is reaching the stage where I can't really work through it, so maybe a lie down this afternoon will be on the cards as well.
I guess that is about it. Nothing going on much really and if there is I can't remember it! Sarah, Rob and Emma all went home on Thursday and the house is now very peaceful. I love my family, but have found this week a bit hard. I need to be alone at times and there was just nowhere to hide lol. Rob and Emma bought be a beautiful bunch of flowers to cheer me up, bless em. A lovely surprise and very much appreciated. I love getting flowers, especially if someone other than me has bought them!
Anyway, onward and upwards - maybe back to bed!
The preliminary results show that there is scarring and a small blockage in Dads liver. Thats it so far! The more time is going on, the more I am beginning to think there is nothing drastic wrong with him. Yes, he has ascites, the fluid in his abdomen, which is obviously very uncomfortable, but the cause is eluding the medical team. I trawl the internet each time I get a new bit of non information from them and make my own assessment. Maybe its something to do with his pancreas and diabetes. He is having more tests next week and maybe home Wednesday. I have to say that last night he was the most relaxed I have seen him. He had a hypo after his CT scan in the morning, and was "out of it". He said he could hear people speaking to him but in no way could he respond. It is the worst one he has had, but then as he said, when he is at home he always has a glucose gel on him to take, at hospital they take all your medication from you!
Matthew is going to visit this afternoon with Rich, so I am having another "free" day. Yayyy, Tesco here I come! As usual I have an ironing mountain which needs wading through, and housework to avoid. My duckies are neglected, only one visit last week, so that will be on the list too. The M.E weariness has well and truly kicked in and is reaching the stage where I can't really work through it, so maybe a lie down this afternoon will be on the cards as well.
I guess that is about it. Nothing going on much really and if there is I can't remember it! Sarah, Rob and Emma all went home on Thursday and the house is now very peaceful. I love my family, but have found this week a bit hard. I need to be alone at times and there was just nowhere to hide lol. Rob and Emma bought be a beautiful bunch of flowers to cheer me up, bless em. A lovely surprise and very much appreciated. I love getting flowers, especially if someone other than me has bought them!
Anyway, onward and upwards - maybe back to bed!
Wednesday 17 August 2011
a day off
Today is my youngest daughters' 14th birthday, how time flies! It also means a day off for me from visiting Dad. I willingly said I would still visit, but he said to stay at home and he would phone Becky to wish her happy birthday. To be honest I think it is becoming a strain for him. He wants me to visit, and has a list of a couple of people he is happy to see, but it seems to take it out of him having to be sociable. At least with me it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to talk.
I had a phone call from work today asking me to cover for holidays, which I am happy to do, but I do feel a bit under pressure with Dad being ill. They understand that at the moment life is a waiting game and we are in limbo until we get some concrete results from Dads blood tests, scans, fluid tests etc. I think that is what is getting Dad down too, the not knowing for sure. At least when we know we can plan for whatever is thrown at us - hopefully. Husband and I have discussed whether it is viable for us to keep Dad in his home and try between us to have one of us there all the time, or whether we should turn the dining room into a makeshift bedroom and have Dad here. Obviously for us, it would be easier if he came here, but that may not be best for him. Again, limboland.
Anyway, must go, got a birthday brownie cake to cover with fresh cream and strawberries! Sickly or what lol.
I had a phone call from work today asking me to cover for holidays, which I am happy to do, but I do feel a bit under pressure with Dad being ill. They understand that at the moment life is a waiting game and we are in limbo until we get some concrete results from Dads blood tests, scans, fluid tests etc. I think that is what is getting Dad down too, the not knowing for sure. At least when we know we can plan for whatever is thrown at us - hopefully. Husband and I have discussed whether it is viable for us to keep Dad in his home and try between us to have one of us there all the time, or whether we should turn the dining room into a makeshift bedroom and have Dad here. Obviously for us, it would be easier if he came here, but that may not be best for him. Again, limboland.
Anyway, must go, got a birthday brownie cake to cover with fresh cream and strawberries! Sickly or what lol.
Tuesday 16 August 2011
crumbling
Okay, I am now officially knackered. Doesn't take long does it?! Dad had a sample of the fluid taken from his abdomen yesterday - resembled a reddish yellow tomato soup with bits, according to him. Ewwww. Thanks for that Pops!! The registrar, lovely man, had a chat with me and said that their first thought is cancer, possibly of the liver, and that if that is cofirmed by the test result the next step would be a CT scan to find out just where its coming from. They would then decide if and how to treat it. He was totally frank with me and Dad has asked him to speak to me before he talks to Dad as he can get confused. We have also agreed, Dad and I that is, that we will be totally honest with each other whatever the news and outcome.
That is all for now. I so desperately want to break down and have a bloody good sob, but am trying to remain "strong". Wonder how long that will last. Keep finding my eyes leaking, a weak human trait according to Princess Aurora in Flash Gordon!
That is all for now. I so desperately want to break down and have a bloody good sob, but am trying to remain "strong". Wonder how long that will last. Keep finding my eyes leaking, a weak human trait according to Princess Aurora in Flash Gordon!
Sunday 14 August 2011
Day 3 in hospital
Lets think, ah yes, its Sunday. Woke at 6.20 and couldn't get back to sleep. Think I slept slightly better last night.
Visited Dad this afternoon. He has had an xray which showed fluid "from his neck down", not just in his abdomen. Things look bleaker every time I see him. He is supposed to have a sample of the fluid taken for tests tomorrow, and hopefully they will also put in a drain. Once the fluid has been analysed we will know what we are dealing with for certain. Today I am struggling and cannot lift my mood. I will be glad when we know once and for all what is wrong and then we can move forward and plan.
I think I may have had a visit last night, but can't be sure. I was sat in the lounge and suddenly smelt the aroma of flowers. No one owned up to having been to the downstairs loo and used the fragrant hand wash, so not sure what it was. It was sort of comforting though.
Sarah, Rob and Emma are home for Beckys birthday on Wednesday. They make so much noise, I am having to stay out of their way. Too much exuberance! Love them all to bits tho, nutters the lot of them!
Visited Dad this afternoon. He has had an xray which showed fluid "from his neck down", not just in his abdomen. Things look bleaker every time I see him. He is supposed to have a sample of the fluid taken for tests tomorrow, and hopefully they will also put in a drain. Once the fluid has been analysed we will know what we are dealing with for certain. Today I am struggling and cannot lift my mood. I will be glad when we know once and for all what is wrong and then we can move forward and plan.
I think I may have had a visit last night, but can't be sure. I was sat in the lounge and suddenly smelt the aroma of flowers. No one owned up to having been to the downstairs loo and used the fragrant hand wash, so not sure what it was. It was sort of comforting though.
Sarah, Rob and Emma are home for Beckys birthday on Wednesday. They make so much noise, I am having to stay out of their way. Too much exuberance! Love them all to bits tho, nutters the lot of them!
Saturday 13 August 2011
catching up on Dad
I am so unbelievably tired. I haven't been sleeping well lately, waking so many times in the night it feels like I may as well be up. Stress probably not helping. Well not stress, but worry. The GP admitted Dad to hospital yesterday in an effort to make him more comfortable. Since our holiday two weeks ago he has not been able to eat more than a small bowl of porridge a day, and has been sick at least once every day. Also, drinking makes him feel sick so he has not had much fluid in him either. His stomach would make an 8month pregnant woman proud! So, he has had blood tests, which show his platelet level down, PSA level up. Chest xray, not had the results yet, an ultra sound yesterday, which showed fluid in his abdomen, and the reason for the hospital admittance. The GP suspects bowel cancer, and has already got him a fast track appointment to a specialist next week. We all decided, GP, Dad and myself, that he would benefit from having a drain put in to get rid of the fluid and ease the pressure on his abdomen, so off we toddled to Frenchay. I left Dad having an ECG as part of his admitting procedures and came home.
Dad phoned later to say he had seen a consultant who has diagnosed Cirrhosis of the liver, and suspects the fluid is blood from his spleen or pancreas. He will have tests on Monday and they won't put a drain in until then, so is in hospital for the weekend, which we knew he would be anyway. Dad is happy. I am not. For the past couple of days I have been forcing myself to look on the black side, a sort of self preservation tactic. I have trawled the net, and most articles say that the fluid in the abdomen stage is a late stage of liver disease and not a good sign. I am going to carry on assuming the worst. As my Father has always told me, "Expect the worst and you are seldom disappointed!".
I am in no way wishing the worst on him, I just know I will fall apart when the time comes for his end and I am trying to prepare myself. He is my friend as well as my Father. I see him more than I see my friends. No need to say I will feel lost without him.
Sorry its such a down blog. I need to get things out of my head. Too much tumbling around in my tiny brain!
Dad phoned later to say he had seen a consultant who has diagnosed Cirrhosis of the liver, and suspects the fluid is blood from his spleen or pancreas. He will have tests on Monday and they won't put a drain in until then, so is in hospital for the weekend, which we knew he would be anyway. Dad is happy. I am not. For the past couple of days I have been forcing myself to look on the black side, a sort of self preservation tactic. I have trawled the net, and most articles say that the fluid in the abdomen stage is a late stage of liver disease and not a good sign. I am going to carry on assuming the worst. As my Father has always told me, "Expect the worst and you are seldom disappointed!".
I am in no way wishing the worst on him, I just know I will fall apart when the time comes for his end and I am trying to prepare myself. He is my friend as well as my Father. I see him more than I see my friends. No need to say I will feel lost without him.
Sorry its such a down blog. I need to get things out of my head. Too much tumbling around in my tiny brain!
Thursday 11 August 2011
Gladrags and confessions!
"You're not getting any fudge!!!" OMG! How cruel and heartless some friends can be lol. I am now going to name and shame Mr Richard Stenner, although he just doesn't care! *sigh* I do like a bit of fudge .............
Lets, see now. I am pleased to say the the ironing pile is now more of a pimple than the previously written about mountain. A few shirts remain, and two of those are Richards new school shirts, and not terribly important at the moment. The one good thing about trying to kit him out for his prom was that I bought black school trousers, and husband bought white school shirts in an attempt to make him look delectable. In the end he wore none of the items, but it means that he is kitted out for school. Yayyyy. Just Becky to go.
My youngest daughter wants skin tight black trousers for school. Not allowed obviously, but "everyone else wears them and gets away with it". Hmmm, not so sure when its a new school year. I hate buying her trousers/jeans/shorts. She is so beautifully slim, but tall, and the clothes manufacturers just don't cater for figures like hers it seems. I am going to take her to the shops yet again today in an attempt to buy her clothes for her birthday, and if that is unsuccessful, she is going to Bristol with her friend on Saturday. I don't like to tell her that the money I drew out for her birthday has been spent on the weeks food shop!! I am not a very good juggler sometimes, although I have had plenty of practise as have a lot of people.
My Dad is still not well, and yesterday saw us at the doctors surgery yet again. She is so lovely, and when I mentioned tea and cakes as a treat she got quite excited bless her. He has another appt on Friday morning with her, an appointment to have cancerous moles removed Friday afternoon, and then next Thursday an appt to check for bowel cancer, or hopefully, the absence of it! I keep reciting to myself "He is 82" like a mantra. As Rob said when I let it all flood out, no matter how prepared I am, I will be upset. My children know how soft and emotional I am. I am lucky to have them, I love them all to bits and am so proud of them, even tho they all think I am batty! Every time Becky says "I worry about you Mum" I reply back "You should worry about yourself, because I am your future and this is what you will become" I do like to scare her lol. Sarah has in fact started to make terrible puns. Yayyyy, atta girl. Its weird. Although they have lived mainly with me, I see so much of their fathers' mannerisms in them. Scares the hell out of me! Where am I in them? They are smart, intelligent, eloquent, say the same little things he does. Somewhere along the lines, I have been missed out! Well, maybe not in Sarahs case :o) I had better just qualify here that their Dad is not a bad man, far from it (eewww, eewww, ewww! Fancy admitting that in public), he just wasn't the right person for me after a while.
Moving on!!
Oh eck, that has totally disrupted the flow of thoughts now. Maybe instead of moving on I will just end it. The blog that is!! I hear the kettle calling and my book thinks I could do with reading some more. Cuppa and gruesome murder, here I come.
Lets, see now. I am pleased to say the the ironing pile is now more of a pimple than the previously written about mountain. A few shirts remain, and two of those are Richards new school shirts, and not terribly important at the moment. The one good thing about trying to kit him out for his prom was that I bought black school trousers, and husband bought white school shirts in an attempt to make him look delectable. In the end he wore none of the items, but it means that he is kitted out for school. Yayyyy. Just Becky to go.
My youngest daughter wants skin tight black trousers for school. Not allowed obviously, but "everyone else wears them and gets away with it". Hmmm, not so sure when its a new school year. I hate buying her trousers/jeans/shorts. She is so beautifully slim, but tall, and the clothes manufacturers just don't cater for figures like hers it seems. I am going to take her to the shops yet again today in an attempt to buy her clothes for her birthday, and if that is unsuccessful, she is going to Bristol with her friend on Saturday. I don't like to tell her that the money I drew out for her birthday has been spent on the weeks food shop!! I am not a very good juggler sometimes, although I have had plenty of practise as have a lot of people.
My Dad is still not well, and yesterday saw us at the doctors surgery yet again. She is so lovely, and when I mentioned tea and cakes as a treat she got quite excited bless her. He has another appt on Friday morning with her, an appointment to have cancerous moles removed Friday afternoon, and then next Thursday an appt to check for bowel cancer, or hopefully, the absence of it! I keep reciting to myself "He is 82" like a mantra. As Rob said when I let it all flood out, no matter how prepared I am, I will be upset. My children know how soft and emotional I am. I am lucky to have them, I love them all to bits and am so proud of them, even tho they all think I am batty! Every time Becky says "I worry about you Mum" I reply back "You should worry about yourself, because I am your future and this is what you will become" I do like to scare her lol. Sarah has in fact started to make terrible puns. Yayyyy, atta girl. Its weird. Although they have lived mainly with me, I see so much of their fathers' mannerisms in them. Scares the hell out of me! Where am I in them? They are smart, intelligent, eloquent, say the same little things he does. Somewhere along the lines, I have been missed out! Well, maybe not in Sarahs case :o) I had better just qualify here that their Dad is not a bad man, far from it (eewww, eewww, ewww! Fancy admitting that in public), he just wasn't the right person for me after a while.
Moving on!!
Oh eck, that has totally disrupted the flow of thoughts now. Maybe instead of moving on I will just end it. The blog that is!! I hear the kettle calling and my book thinks I could do with reading some more. Cuppa and gruesome murder, here I come.
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Did I say I couldn't be arsed? lol
Do you know what? I just can't be arsed to blog! This is a very bad sign, cos normally I have some rubbish to spout forth, so I am making the effort now. Yayyy!
Lets see, whats been happening. Well, I guess not much actually. Maybe thats the reason for the lack of mumblings. We have been back from our holiday for 2 weeks now, and I still haven't managed to wade through the enormous pile of ironing. Of course, its not helped by the fact that my family will insist on wearing clothes every day, which need washing and ironing. So selfish! Maybe I should pop to Tesco and get some wheelie bin bags and make them wear those until I have managed to catch up :o). I am, of course, exempt from this idea, even a wheelie bin liner would probably not fit, and as it is me who does the ironing I can make the rules.
The weather, typically for an english summer, has gone downhill. I have to say, we do seem to be quite lucky with the sun for our holiday, although I am beginning to think that husband and I went to different destinations this year. I thought the weather was lovely, I seem to remember sunbathing and paddling, even going as far as to wear my swimsuit on one occasion. Sorry, just don't picture it, you will all be fine! He, on the other hand, didn't think the weather was very good! Maybe its a bit of the glass half empty syndrome? I do actually wish I was back there, it was so peaceful.
I have only managed to see my duckies twice since getting home. Part of the reason for this is ratdog! I seem to be dogsitting and he is a bit of a terror, so I avoid the park when I have him. Also, the park just isn't the same when it is full of people. Again, selfish! My park, my ducks! Oops, sounds a bit like Monsters Playhouse - you will find it in the childrens section of the library lol.
My father continues to be ill, his gp is lovely and it won't be long before we are on first name terms and inviting her to tea! I have to make jokes because I am very worried, he is on a fast track appt to check for bowel cancer now. I hope its not, but as he has prostate cancer and leukemia, it will just be one more thing to add to the mix. The downside is that his stomach is very bloated and swollen and he cannot keep food or drink down him atm. I keep telling myself he is 82, and trying to be philosophical, but its not always easy. I am too young emotionally for him to die.
Talking of age, Captain Ed was 21 last week. I dropped a token present off to him and we were talking about celebrating 18ths, 21sts etc. I could not remember what I did for my 21st. I know I had an 18th because it snowed, but 21? Nope. Then it came to me. The obvious reason actually. I am only 18, so I HAVEN'T HAD MY 21st YET!! Silly me! Watch out for your invites lol.
Still on the subject of age, its Beckys birthday next week. She would like clothes so I dutifully took her to the Mall (my idea of hell) and traipsed round after her for 4 hours. Four hours!!!! I need a medal, I am a bloody fantastic mother!! Anyway, we came home with £30 of makeup (!) and 2 tops, sore feet (me), a need for a sit down (me) and not a lot else. *sigh* She asked me the most stupid question ever last week. "Mum, have you got an eyebrow pencil?" That gave me a good laugh. I sometimes look at my daughters and wonder if they are actually mine! I am continually being told off for not shaving, legs that is, not beard!, plucking my eyebrows, moisturising. That makes me sound like a right slob, I assure you I am not, I just don't really have any interest in the beauty regime I guess. I got told off by Rach for not moisturising my feet as well last week. Maybe I need to kick myself up the bum and start joining the women!
One of my friends has just come back from Devon and I awaiting the call to say that my fudge is ready to be picked up. Good job I am not holding my breath and am fully awake. Its a bit like saying I will win the lottery on Friday or Wednesday or whenever it is run. Still, its a nice dream. Mmmmm, fudge!
Right, I need to go and do. Dog to walk, Dad to check up on, dishes to wash, and of course, ironing to do!!
Lets see, whats been happening. Well, I guess not much actually. Maybe thats the reason for the lack of mumblings. We have been back from our holiday for 2 weeks now, and I still haven't managed to wade through the enormous pile of ironing. Of course, its not helped by the fact that my family will insist on wearing clothes every day, which need washing and ironing. So selfish! Maybe I should pop to Tesco and get some wheelie bin bags and make them wear those until I have managed to catch up :o). I am, of course, exempt from this idea, even a wheelie bin liner would probably not fit, and as it is me who does the ironing I can make the rules.
The weather, typically for an english summer, has gone downhill. I have to say, we do seem to be quite lucky with the sun for our holiday, although I am beginning to think that husband and I went to different destinations this year. I thought the weather was lovely, I seem to remember sunbathing and paddling, even going as far as to wear my swimsuit on one occasion. Sorry, just don't picture it, you will all be fine! He, on the other hand, didn't think the weather was very good! Maybe its a bit of the glass half empty syndrome? I do actually wish I was back there, it was so peaceful.
I have only managed to see my duckies twice since getting home. Part of the reason for this is ratdog! I seem to be dogsitting and he is a bit of a terror, so I avoid the park when I have him. Also, the park just isn't the same when it is full of people. Again, selfish! My park, my ducks! Oops, sounds a bit like Monsters Playhouse - you will find it in the childrens section of the library lol.
My father continues to be ill, his gp is lovely and it won't be long before we are on first name terms and inviting her to tea! I have to make jokes because I am very worried, he is on a fast track appt to check for bowel cancer now. I hope its not, but as he has prostate cancer and leukemia, it will just be one more thing to add to the mix. The downside is that his stomach is very bloated and swollen and he cannot keep food or drink down him atm. I keep telling myself he is 82, and trying to be philosophical, but its not always easy. I am too young emotionally for him to die.
Talking of age, Captain Ed was 21 last week. I dropped a token present off to him and we were talking about celebrating 18ths, 21sts etc. I could not remember what I did for my 21st. I know I had an 18th because it snowed, but 21? Nope. Then it came to me. The obvious reason actually. I am only 18, so I HAVEN'T HAD MY 21st YET!! Silly me! Watch out for your invites lol.
Still on the subject of age, its Beckys birthday next week. She would like clothes so I dutifully took her to the Mall (my idea of hell) and traipsed round after her for 4 hours. Four hours!!!! I need a medal, I am a bloody fantastic mother!! Anyway, we came home with £30 of makeup (!) and 2 tops, sore feet (me), a need for a sit down (me) and not a lot else. *sigh* She asked me the most stupid question ever last week. "Mum, have you got an eyebrow pencil?" That gave me a good laugh. I sometimes look at my daughters and wonder if they are actually mine! I am continually being told off for not shaving, legs that is, not beard!, plucking my eyebrows, moisturising. That makes me sound like a right slob, I assure you I am not, I just don't really have any interest in the beauty regime I guess. I got told off by Rach for not moisturising my feet as well last week. Maybe I need to kick myself up the bum and start joining the women!
One of my friends has just come back from Devon and I awaiting the call to say that my fudge is ready to be picked up. Good job I am not holding my breath and am fully awake. Its a bit like saying I will win the lottery on Friday or Wednesday or whenever it is run. Still, its a nice dream. Mmmmm, fudge!
Right, I need to go and do. Dog to walk, Dad to check up on, dishes to wash, and of course, ironing to do!!
Tuesday 2 August 2011
working and holiday blues
Well, first day back to work after my holiday I overslept - woke up at 7am to hear the alarm going off, then went back to sleep until 8.10! Not a good start lol. At least I know I am capable of getting up, dressed, breakfasted and out of the house in 20 minutes. Not sure how I would have managed if the children had been at school tho. The new bosses came in around lunchtime, they are lovely, and meeting them has put all our minds at rest as to the future. Phew! Lets face it, they arrived yesterday to meet us for the first time armed with a box of chocolates and a box of biscuits. We were sold instantly lol. Shrewd business move :o)
It was lovely to be working with James again and having sensible conversations. Well ok then, daft conversations that usually make us laugh, and get weirder and weirder. He was in a particularly high mood due to the fact that he is off on his holiday on Friday morning, a fact he mentioned just a few times! This gives me another fortnight off work. Good in one way as its the school holidays, but then there is the lack of money. Lets stop there!
I had a phone call from my sister tonight, my Dad is very ill and ended up at an emergency clinic. He has refused to go into hospital, so they are bringing him home tomorrow. Heaven only knows how they will manage as he keeps being sick apparently. The doctor who saw him said he is in need of an urgent scan and blood tests as he is showing signs of jaundice. I really wish I had put my foot down on Saturday, as he wasn't well on Friday. I rang my sister and warned her Dad wasn't up to staying, but come the Saturday the stubborn old git insisted on going to her house to stay. I love him to bits, but its us who have to cope with the fall out.
Well, the wallpaper debate has ended - we are going to paint the wall! We are now debating curtains. Or blinds! And if we have curtains do we go across the alcove or around the alcove as they are now? Blinds get dusty - in that case, NO! lol I would love to know if other people have this problem with decorating. I only ever get to discuss it with Rach, and her hubby is just as bad in getting around to things, or finishing things. Rach does most of the painting in their house. She does keep offering to come round and help me, but I daren't take her up on the offer. Don't think hubby would be best pleased! If you want to hear the outcome, read my blog about it, which will be in a few months time lol.
Right, am off to bed. Need to be up earlyish to make a GP appt for my Dad. Maybe I had better turn the alarm up!
It was lovely to be working with James again and having sensible conversations. Well ok then, daft conversations that usually make us laugh, and get weirder and weirder. He was in a particularly high mood due to the fact that he is off on his holiday on Friday morning, a fact he mentioned just a few times! This gives me another fortnight off work. Good in one way as its the school holidays, but then there is the lack of money. Lets stop there!
I had a phone call from my sister tonight, my Dad is very ill and ended up at an emergency clinic. He has refused to go into hospital, so they are bringing him home tomorrow. Heaven only knows how they will manage as he keeps being sick apparently. The doctor who saw him said he is in need of an urgent scan and blood tests as he is showing signs of jaundice. I really wish I had put my foot down on Saturday, as he wasn't well on Friday. I rang my sister and warned her Dad wasn't up to staying, but come the Saturday the stubborn old git insisted on going to her house to stay. I love him to bits, but its us who have to cope with the fall out.
Well, the wallpaper debate has ended - we are going to paint the wall! We are now debating curtains. Or blinds! And if we have curtains do we go across the alcove or around the alcove as they are now? Blinds get dusty - in that case, NO! lol I would love to know if other people have this problem with decorating. I only ever get to discuss it with Rach, and her hubby is just as bad in getting around to things, or finishing things. Rach does most of the painting in their house. She does keep offering to come round and help me, but I daren't take her up on the offer. Don't think hubby would be best pleased! If you want to hear the outcome, read my blog about it, which will be in a few months time lol.
Right, am off to bed. Need to be up earlyish to make a GP appt for my Dad. Maybe I had better turn the alarm up!
Monday 1 August 2011
Virtual postcard
Well this could be a very long blog, have been away on my hols for a week, so no blogs. I could tell you everything about the week, like a long blog postcard, but then that would be boring, bit like people showing you their photos - means loads to them but not to you! Maybe I will just showcase the best bits ..........
Firstly, we went to Cardigan in Wales, and it is a long, long drive! Even I was saying "are we there yet?" and I was driving! Went in two cars because eldest daughter and Grandad came with us, plus the dog, and even then space was tight! Stayed in a bungalow on the cliff, less than 1/4 mile to the edge and the sea. The bungalows best feature, and it was a nice bungalow btw, was the conservatory that offered a fantastic view over the sea and field behind the house. There were dolphins and seals to watch and flocks of canada geese flew over at least twice a day, honking away. I loved it. Kept rushing out and running back and forth so the geese flew over my head - amazing :o) Also, if you believe my kids, very sad, and slightly dangerous in case they poo'd on me!
The weather was lovely, until Wednesday night when the mist suddenly rolled in. Creepy, one minute you could see and the next everything outside was white and hidden. Thursday was a bit drizzly and windy. Ironic really as that was the day we had booked boat trips. Many of you will know that I DO NOT DO BOATS, so the trip was for Matthew and the children - Bex and Sarah dolphin spotting, and Matthew and Rich fishing. There was an hours difference between the excursions, so we saw Bex and Sarah off on a somewhat choppy sea, then went for a cuppa to warm up a bit. The time came for Matthew and Rich to go on their trip so off they went, and back they came. All boat trips were off due to the weather. Ah, didn't bode well for Sarah and Bex then. And indeed, when they came back, they were slightly pale to say the least! The dolphins hadn't shown up, but they were kept entertained by one of the passengers repeatedly throwing up over the side of the boat!! Neither girls were feeling too good, which was a shame, so we headed off to a cafe to restore them to normal. Chicken and chips later, and they were feeling well enough to get into another mode of transport (car) and head back to the bungalow! It was a bit weird, because the weather perked up again Friday.
On the way home I detoured to Llanelli to deposit my Dad with my sister for the second week of his holiday. It was lovely to see them, and my niece and her children. Dad is now her responsibility for a while :o) It is a bit strange already, and bear in mind its only Monday, with him not being around. By the time I get used to it he'll be back.
Have just come back from a staff meeting to meet the new bosses. All is looking good, they are lovely people, and hopefully we can all now get back to normality at work and the stress will be over.
Thats it, I am writing no more! Got a mountain of ironing to do, need a cup of tea and to put the shopping away cos I ran out of time earlier. Also, the demon ratdog is here, terrorising Specks and being like a doggy cannonball. Oh for a bit of his energy lol.
Firstly, we went to Cardigan in Wales, and it is a long, long drive! Even I was saying "are we there yet?" and I was driving! Went in two cars because eldest daughter and Grandad came with us, plus the dog, and even then space was tight! Stayed in a bungalow on the cliff, less than 1/4 mile to the edge and the sea. The bungalows best feature, and it was a nice bungalow btw, was the conservatory that offered a fantastic view over the sea and field behind the house. There were dolphins and seals to watch and flocks of canada geese flew over at least twice a day, honking away. I loved it. Kept rushing out and running back and forth so the geese flew over my head - amazing :o) Also, if you believe my kids, very sad, and slightly dangerous in case they poo'd on me!
The weather was lovely, until Wednesday night when the mist suddenly rolled in. Creepy, one minute you could see and the next everything outside was white and hidden. Thursday was a bit drizzly and windy. Ironic really as that was the day we had booked boat trips. Many of you will know that I DO NOT DO BOATS, so the trip was for Matthew and the children - Bex and Sarah dolphin spotting, and Matthew and Rich fishing. There was an hours difference between the excursions, so we saw Bex and Sarah off on a somewhat choppy sea, then went for a cuppa to warm up a bit. The time came for Matthew and Rich to go on their trip so off they went, and back they came. All boat trips were off due to the weather. Ah, didn't bode well for Sarah and Bex then. And indeed, when they came back, they were slightly pale to say the least! The dolphins hadn't shown up, but they were kept entertained by one of the passengers repeatedly throwing up over the side of the boat!! Neither girls were feeling too good, which was a shame, so we headed off to a cafe to restore them to normal. Chicken and chips later, and they were feeling well enough to get into another mode of transport (car) and head back to the bungalow! It was a bit weird, because the weather perked up again Friday.
On the way home I detoured to Llanelli to deposit my Dad with my sister for the second week of his holiday. It was lovely to see them, and my niece and her children. Dad is now her responsibility for a while :o) It is a bit strange already, and bear in mind its only Monday, with him not being around. By the time I get used to it he'll be back.
Have just come back from a staff meeting to meet the new bosses. All is looking good, they are lovely people, and hopefully we can all now get back to normality at work and the stress will be over.
Thats it, I am writing no more! Got a mountain of ironing to do, need a cup of tea and to put the shopping away cos I ran out of time earlier. Also, the demon ratdog is here, terrorising Specks and being like a doggy cannonball. Oh for a bit of his energy lol.
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