Three to four weeks left. Do I live with the hope that the doctor is only guessing, and that it could be longer? Live hoping that Dad will see my birthday and christmas? Her estimate is based on test results and experience. Or do I take the fatalistic approach and think 4 weeks max and that anything longer is a bonus? I just don't know. I do know that Dad would like to die right now and that if there was a button he could press he would summon the energy and do it.
I am numb, not sure I can cry anymore, yet as I type the tears start to flow again. I need to phone my sister and tell her, but just don't want to because saying it out loud makes it more real. Kidney failure has set in, and the doctor thinks that in another 2 weeks Dad will reach the stage that donates dialysis. Obviously this is not an option for him so it will be the end.
Its all crappy to say the least :o(
No comments:
Post a Comment