Well after my last blog I did indeed fall apart. I knew it was coming and at the time it felt like the end of the world. I cried at home, then took the dog out and cried some more. Stood looking at the stars and cried and came home feeling like a bag of poo! Took myself off to bed and had yet another sleepless night. Tuesday morning my eyes were beautifully puffy and red, but I felt better in myself. Managed work ok, but I have noticed I am suffering from a severe lack of patience. Not good in my job!! One patient in particular had me wanting to hit him round the head, but luckily for him the closest thing to hand of any substance was the suction tube. Being made of plastic it wouldn't have done much harm. Could have gouged his eyes out I suppose had I taken his glasses off!
Sleeping is becoming a bit of a problem, but I guess if I am honest I would admit to that being normal for me. Yet another M.E symptom. I am very tired, but again, normal. I need to phone my sister, but am balking. It's hard when you are struggling with your own grief to be surrounded by someone else's. That sounds selfish but I noticed it when mum died too. You can hide from friends but I guess you shouldn't do it with family. Maybe a day in bed hiding under the covers would do us all good.
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