Dog: Where is she? I've been up ages and I know she jasn't snuck out of the house, no-one gets past me and my super powers. Oh come on, it's been ages and ages and ages since I got up. Wait! I hear a noise! Thats her, on the stairs, yayyyy, must rush to greet her. Ooh, ooh, pick up something to take with me, bone, that'll do. Must act cool, make her know I am displeased with the wait. *jumps up then runs in circles* you're here, wahooo. Come cuddle me on the settee. Hang on, that's my bone, give it back, blummin cheek.
Oh no, does she really have to eat, oh, nougat pillow, don't mind if I do. Come on then, lets go. *paces, jumps onto settee and starts to chew pillow* Works every time! Go on upstairs, do your teeth. *whine, whine, little howl" omg where has she gone, she's been hours. Why does she always disappear for so long. She's gone, left me all alone, what will I do without her *howl, howl, whine* SHE IS BACK, I knew she'd never leave me, omg, I am so happeee, she's here and she has shoes on. I can't wait, so excited, so happy, I must leap about to show her I am pleased to see her. Leads on, doors opening. It's raining, oh I love the rain, lets go, lets go.
I love running in the rain, in fact I just love running. I love running in mud, in ponds, in long grass, short grass, on paths, in woods. Its been a good walk and I am wet, but I love that too, I give off such a glorious smell. Happy to be in the car, I get dried and she doesn't realise I go throough her pockets whilst she's making me all snug.
Home, yayy. Where's my carrot? Must spread out on the settee and relax. Where is she? She knows I can't eat my carrot until she's with me ............ *farts*
Me: Really want a lie in. ME is playing up big time and I am struggling to control it. Freya is kneading my neck and miaowing, asking for her breakfast. No peace for the wicked. * Gets up, feeds cat and forgets about lie in.* Milo is having a mild excitement attack as if he hasn't seen me for months. Sit on the settee with him and try to take his bone which I thought he was offering me, but obviously he wasn't. Pour out my cereal, all the time knowing I am being watched eagerly. Give in and give Milo a nougat pillow. Sit down for breakfast and a cuppa. Flippin dog is getting impatient s usual. Really don't want to do the dog walk today cos its raining and feel yuk. Milo starts to chew the cushion on the settee, he can be such a b*sturd!
Go upstairs to do my teeth, and think I may as well clean the en suite whilst I am here. Milo is creating downstairs, whining and howling. For heavens sake, I've only been gone 5 minutes or so, no chance of cleaning main bathroom as well then. Go downstairs to be greeted by one very excited dog, get raincoat on and out into the typically english summer rain!
Drive to the common and check I have poo bags and treats in my pockets, then find the hole Milo created in the right hand pocket, rendering it useless. Milo doesn't care its raining, he just loves life. I don't know how he coped being shut up in a small run with 4 other dogs in the Greek shelter. Once he is off the lead he just runs and runs, its a joy to watch, and almost makes up for the fact he can be such a pain in the arse. I am soaked. My raincoat isn't really! I can feel the water running along my arm, and where the coat finishes, all the water collects and runs onto my jeggings. My trainers are soaked, along with my socks and my hood is directing the rainwater down the side of my face. Forty minutes later Milo is still happily running, and I am drenched! Get back to the car and dry him off with the aquatowel. Its brilliant, bit like a chamois for dogs and gets him lovely and dry. Step away from the boot of the car and notice the contents of my coat pocket spread about the road!
Home. Milo runs in and jumps onto the settee. I go into utility room, hang up wet coat and battle to take off my sopping trainers. Peel off my jeggings and socks and as I pass through the kitchen take a carrot out of the fridge for Milo. Give him carrot and head upstairs for dry clothes. Come back down and he's waiting for me cos he won't eat it without me for some reason. Sit on the settee in the small gap he's left. Dog eats his carrot, stretches out a bit more so he's lying on me, and farts!
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