finally found 10 mins!

Its been a long time since I had the spare time to sit and blog.  To be honest, even if I had time I don't think I would have put my thoughts down.  It has been a rollercoaster for my emotions, usually depending on how my Dad has appeared each day I go to see him, and its usually been on the downward spiral.  If Dad had an up day and managed to go into his study for his meals I would be elated, only to crash down when he couldn't manage it the following day.  The trouble is, I am a very emotional person and feed off my surroundings, fantastic at a gig but not so good as a nurse!!  I am also sooo tired.  Have managed to keep the M.E at bay with painkillers and crashing out when I can, but its getting harder.

The latest news on Dad is that for the past two days he has managed to come downstairs for an hour or two and sit in the chair.  He is still being sick, with no apparent rhyme or reason as to when or why, some days he can eat proper food and then has to revert to mush.  The last lot of blood tests showed that his kidney function is up slightly, but his liver function is down.  The GP warned that any illness, cold,   bug etc would knock him badly and it would impact on his liver function.  Basically, the prognosis at the moment is that his liver is failing and he will have good days and bad, and we have to adjust accordingly.  It is not due to old age but I guess at 82 something was bound to get him, especially when you bear in mind he has countless other things wrong with him!

I have struggled at times, crashed, picked myself up and carried on.  The main thing is that I have missed my friends.  The times I would normally have been able to see them I have been at Dads, and by the time I get home and cook tea for hubby and the children, cleared up etc all I am fit for is collapse.  Rach has rectified this over the last few days when I outpoured to her and has popped in at weird and wonderful times, taking home my ironing and bringing it back a day later.  I love that woman :o)

I have managed to get over and visit the duckies.  Wow, so many of them now and all of them slightly different from each other.  A lot of partner swapping been going on by the looks of things!  It seems to be the hungry season and they tend to jump out of the pond now in their haste for food.  I have taken to scattering their corn around the bench and just sitting and watching with a stupid grin on my face.  So much noise too, I just love it.  I wish I could just sit there all day.

I should mention that Matthew is helping me out, doing Dad his breakfast, and lunch on the days I work, and doing what he can at home.  The children have been fantastic, considering they have virtually been ignored for the last 6 weeks or so, they haven't moaned or complained, apart from the fact they don't get their tea now until 7.30 which causes a few grumbles.  Can't say I blame them, I usually forget to feed myself at lunch time so tea time is a long way away!  Specks hasn't complained that his walks have got shorter and more erratic, but maybe the fact he rushes to the door each time I go out is an indicator in itself!  No, the children won't take him out because they don't like to pick up his poo!

Right, I guess I should stop there and get the washing on, clean out the piggies and maybe go mad and have a cuppa before heading out with Specks.  ttfn x