As I type I am eating. Its 11.12am and I am hungry so decided that instead of snacking, we have no fruit, I would have lunch! Not sure how this is going to work out, but I need to go to the shops, so at least there will be fruit for later. Not having a healthy lunch either, beef sandwich and a packet of chipsticks. I very rarely eat crisps, so don't feel too bad about the occasional packet. Shame I can't say the same about chocolate.
Okay, so far today I have done some knitting, tidied the kitchen and taken my dog out for a walk. Not a long one today. Just don't know what has happened to my energy lately. Obviously I am devoid of a lot of oomph, but the past week or two has been worse than usual, back to how I was when the ME first landed on me. I also have tinnitis and vertigo which doesn't do for helping me walk in a straight line! My walking can be erratic at the best of times, veering off and stumbling. Going to get a reputation for drinking soon lol. Trying hard to stay upbeat in case you hadn't noticed.
Need to get the bathrooms cleaned today, and the pile of ironing that has taken root still beckons. Daughter number two will be leaving school shortly, only having to go in for exams, and wants to earn some money. I can accommodate her there and hopefully she will get stuck in. She has about the same enthusiasm for housework as her mother, but as she is going on holiday with her friends in July she does need the dosh so hopefully that will spur her on.
Talking of offspring, daughter number one has found herself a job providing she gets a 2:1 in her degree, which I am sure she will. Working for the MOD, all hush hush, and to be honest I don't really want to know. I so wish my eldest son could get the job of his dreams too. One day hopefully. From September I will be back to one child at school and one at college. Been there, done that, didn't think it would happen again! Strange how life turns out. Once upon a tme I would have laughed if you had told me I would have 2 children, let alone 4. Dogs or horses maybe, children? No siree! I do still dream of a house with enough back garden to have chickens, ducks and an allotment. And enough energy to manage it all of course.
I am still going to my awareness circle. Some nights I seem to be on the right track and someone comes through or I get an image that is for one of the members of the circle that means something to them. I need to meditate, but I struggle. I cannot switch my mind off, the thoughts just gallop through relentlessly. I am finding this at bedtime lately too. Just can't switch off. You can't meditate when you are wondering what you will cook for tea for the next week, and how can you make some money when you aren't fit enough to work. How can I sell my knitted toys? Will people really want to buy them? etc etc. I used to be quite good at visualisation techniques but its all gone to pot.
Okay, need to get to the shops to buy mousetraps. Don't want to but am fed up of having to clean out the cupboard under the sink every day. Have done the humane route but they nibble their way out of the traps so its going to have to be the old fashioned ones. Eeww, not looking forward to it. Working tomorrow, so not sure if it will be a blog day. Parents evening too, so I guess that is now a definite no.
Onwards and upwards. Or back to bed! No, no, the mousetraps call ......
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